Bringing your kids voice into Mediation
We know that when parties are separating often their greatest concern and deepest desire is to protect and care for their children. Parenting after separation has so many challenges, there is a lot of change for kids, and they are aware of and impacted by the relational breakdown between their parents.
In our parenting mediations we are always aiming to work with parents to help them as they focus on their children and try to work out what is in the best for their kids. One of the best ways we have found to do this is through Child Inclusive Mediation (also known as Child Inclusive Practice) – where we bring a child expert into the mediation process.
In practice what this looks like is that shortly after both parties have attended their confidential pre-mediation assessment we arrange for the children to meet with a child expert trained in Child Inclusive Mediation. In this session the expert works to build rapport and create a safe space through age-appropriate activities that then allows for exploration of where your child is up to and their potential needs following separation.
Following the child interview, we then run a feedback session. During this session the parents and mediator attend to receive the Child Experts feedback and observations. We then aim a short time later to run mediation.
- There are many benefits of CIM, but the most significant include: Your child gets a safe independent space to discuss where they are at and what is going on for them.
- This space is created by an expert – who has years of experience working with children after separation, who understands in details child development and has a wealth of information to assist parents as they work to care for their kids.
- The experts feedback, like mediation is confidential and inadmissible in court proceedings- in a sense an opportunity to explore and receive information about your kids without the concern that something that is said will become ammunition for the other party.
- It is one of the best ways to bring your kids voice/s into the mediation.
Frequently Asked Questions CIP
- What about parental alienation – I’m worried my ex partner has influenced my kid/s and that they will say that what they say won’t be true.
Child Experts are trained to be able to notice and navigate the complexities of interpersonal dynamics that children face post separation including parental alienation and manipulation. Their focus is on providing honest and helpful feedback on the best way to allow children to not get caught up in complex adult interactions. - My child has complex needs/ diagnosed psychological conditions does the process cater for them?
Our child expert is a registered and practicing child psychologist and has many years of experience working with children and their families to provide support as they navigate complex needs or diagnoses including but not limited to ADHD, ASD, Anxiety, ODD, OCD, Depression. - Will I or my ex partner be able to talk to the Child Consultant before the interview?
This is determined on a case by case basis by the Consultant. The default is that the consultant only meet with the child, and not with the parents until the feedback session. We work to ensure that whatever occurs, that both parents are afforded the same opportunity/ access to the Consultant. - What age is appropriate for CIM
Child Inclusive Mediation is appropriate for children aged 5-17 years, with the Child Interview appropriately adapted to meet the needs and developmental stage of the child. - Where is the appointment for CIM
We are fortunate at Northern Beaches North Shore Mediation Services to have rooms available in the Lifestyle building where our offices are located behind Warringah Mall. These rooms are large and light filled and able to be adapted to meet your child’s needs. - Who is the Child Expert you use
Dr Mandy Ellis is a psychologist with a wealth of experience working with separating families. Mandy has assisted families as part of the court process as a court expert and court report writer, she currently works as a psychologist on the Northern Beaches assisting children and families and providing family therapy. Mandy brings to the role a depth of care for children and their parents and is passionate about working with children so that their needs and concerns can be expressed to their parents. Mandy is skilled at working with parents to assist them to take constructive next steps forward taking into account the feedback that has been provided by their kids. Families working with Mandy also have the benefit of her experiences working with the Family Law Court and her insight into what the court will consider to be relevant when determining what is in the best interests of a child. - How much does Child Inclusive Mediation cost?
At Northern Beaches North Shore Family Mediation, we work to tailor the child inclusive mediation to best suit your family. It is our hope to make Child Inclusive Mediation an affordable option for families. Please click here see our fee schedule for Child Inclusive Mediation.
Dr Mandy Ellis
Dr Mandy Ellis is passionate about helping children, adolescents, families and couples cultivate healthy psychological growth and improve relationships post separation. Mandy has a Doctorate in Educational and Developmental Psychology, a Masters in School Psychology, and a BSc in Psychology and also has extensive experience working with the Family Court